Medical Quotes (229)

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I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Tags: Feeling, Need, Golf

Groucho Marx

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.

Tags: Tired, Wife, Night

Anton Chekhov

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Tags: Bed, Running, Hospital

Groucho Marx

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Tags: Same, Difference, Lawyers

Anton Chekhov

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Tags: Office, Doctor, Died

Erma Bombeck

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.

Tags: Stupidity, Doctor, Weakness

Arthur Schopenhauer

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.

Tags: Power, Healing, Same

Samuel Butler

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Tags: May, Able, Read

Earl Wilson

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Tags: Mother, Ugly, Born

Rodney Dangerfield

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.

Tags: Pain, Knowledge, Kindness

Marcel Proust

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No one is entitled to the truth.
Truth, Life

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