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Funny Quotes
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Tags:
Run, Ask, Kid
Red Skelton
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Tags:
Snow, Used, White
Mae West
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Tags:
Women, Through, Anyone
Groucho Marx
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Tags:
Love, Sound, Fly
Douglas Adams
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Tags:
Two, Try, Three
Laurence J. Peter
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Tags:
Good, Live, Far
Steven Wright
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Tags:
Trap, Pancake, Syrup
Mitch Hedberg
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Tags:
Him, Congress, Lead
Milton Berle
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Tags:
Die, Soul, Belief
George Carlin
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Tags:
Person, Listen, Pessimist
Don Marquis
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