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Robert Orben

Robert Orben

Robert Orben (born March 4, 1927) is best known as an American professional comedy writer, though he also worked as a speechwriter for Gerald R.

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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Tags: Work, Day, Through
Robert Orben

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Tags: Human, Blame, Computer
Robert Orben

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Tags: Health, Away, Quit
Robert Orben

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Tags: Funny, Health, Need
Robert Orben

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Tags: Children, Hand, Leaves
Robert Orben

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Tags: Success, Students, Key
Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Tags: Down, Place, Taxes
Robert Orben

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Tags: Greatest, Interested, Comes
Robert Orben

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Tags: Friend, Dead, Loyal
Robert Orben

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Tags: Crisis, Fight, Laugh
Robert Orben

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